Tent Cities

This puts things into perspective... if this doesn't I don't know what possibly could. I'm watching Oprah, which if I'm being honest; I rarely do. There is nothing else on TV and I'm waiting for my show to start when this show in particular catches my attention. Wide eyed and shocked, this is my bitter dose of reality that I've been praying for for so long. This morning I woke up bitchy. Just outright irritated and moody, the slightest thing out of place irritates me. I don't have my coffee, my sushi, the dogs won't stop barking I am just on edge. A lot of you do not know this but I too have lived in a tent. On and off during my highschool years we did not have a home, and most recently I lived in a nineteen foot trailer with my dogs and no where to go. After watching Orah and remembering how blessed I really am; to have a job, a home a bed, clothes, tv and now internet. I am convicted and feeling my pride and diva antics bite me. I find my mood going from Bitchy, to ever so thankful. The house we live in now is old, the floors are unleveled the walls the home is not insulated the dryer is not big enough to dry our clothes as fast as we hope and are used to no... but I do have a job, I do have a roof over my head I have the ones I love most by my side, I am not having to wash my clothes in a river or take a bath in a public sink. I am so, so, so grateful that I can go into the living room and read a book in a warm home and I can brush my teeth and have running water to call my own. Water does not have to be boiled to gain heat; the very fact that I can take a hot shower enlightens me and shows me how grateful I should aspire to be. Sushi is no longer my priority, thankfulness is.

Part of my book.

I'm addicted to my independence, . I crave and thrive for it. At every wakng moment , In my sleep.I'm comforted by the stillness and quiet it brings me. I want to see, feel, taste and acknowledge something different. I self meditate by not living in my own reality. Although, I know it's at a high cost with interest no less. Im thirsty for knowledge, empowerment, creativity, truth I'm afraid of love; Actions and words can discount the emotion within a split second. Joy is constantly obtainable for me with gratefulness of my life here and after. (Another Entry) I had become habitually careless in my own mind, confusion was an everyday apart of me. Apathy was second nature I would never trust myself again. I reached out and touched hollow air My screams inside did not find ears they were mine to keep. No one could fix me. I was my own worst enemy in the flesh there I was living in self animosity.


In a fetal position my spirit remained, oppresion, apathy they are my worst enemies... other than me.